found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize