So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize
