Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
