I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
