Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
