My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
