So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize