I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
