I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
