so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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