We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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