how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
