Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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