Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
where are my eyebrows?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
