Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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