He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
