fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We have started to decorate penises.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
