Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Randomize
