I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
