i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
