She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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