how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
