did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
the liver wants what the liver wants
I AM VODKA MAN
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
