why im i the only drunk person in the library?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
