thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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