dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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