Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
