I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
