Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
