i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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