Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
