i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
