what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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