I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize