end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
