You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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