At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
