okay pat passed out under dana's car
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
