why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Everyone says I win the strip club
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
