She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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