why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
