census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
