Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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