I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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