Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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