I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
