We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
