i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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