the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
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i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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