i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
