just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
