You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
we should paint friendship bongs
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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