drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
