a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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