I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
