2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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