definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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