It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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