what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
